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Welcome to the Complete Nonsense website. Here for your pleasure and entertainment is a massive collection of complete nonsense and trivia. So if you are bored or have a few hours to spare while you should be working then browse away using the menu on the left. Enjoy the nonsense and have fun.


There was an old Man of Bohemia

<< Edward Lear >>

There was an old Man of Bohemia,
Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
Till one day, to his grief,
She married a thief,
Which grieved that old Man of Bohemia.

There was an Old Man in a boat

<< Edward Lear >>

There was an Old Man in a boat,
Who said, 'I'm afloat! I'm afloat!'
When they said, 'No! you ain't!'
He was ready to faint,
That unhappy Old Man in a boat.


This weeks favourite nonsense poems.


by Stuart Macfarlane

Time is but an Elephant
Melting in the midnight sun
It may not stay long enough to play
Unless you shoot it with your gun.


Beasties Large and Small

by Roslyn Taylor

The gentleman who designed my previous kitchen
is unknown to me and nameless
Which does not mean that I hold him blameless,
For he decreed that there should be a gap just
one inch wide
Between the stove and the bench it stood beside.
The gruesome things that can drip, drop, dribble
and drain down such a region
Are legion.
Who knows what horrid creatures wallow
In this dank disgusting hollow?
If there is justice in the Afterlife
This guy has sure earned lots of strife
Such as row upon row of tiny abysses
Between the benches and cooking dishes
Which he's forced to scrub with a tiny brush
While his probing fingers twist and crush
In ungetattable nooks and crannies
Around the greasy pots and pannies
In which the bacon fat can fall
And little beasties creep and crawl ...

I am never benign
About kitchen design,
Tending to ask, before I have seen it,
'Who's going to clean it?'



<< Note: Nonsense Poems copyright Stuart McLean - Stuart Macfarlane   >>  









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